2023 Minnesota Vikings Skoloholics Summary

Vikings Season Summary

I’ll keep this short because there are more important things to get to. The Vikings season was up and down. They started 0-3 before winning their first game at Carolina. They then lost to KC, after which they won five straight games, though they lost Kirk Cousins for the season along the way due to a complete Achilles rupture. They looked like they were going to make the playoffs, but then then lost five of six games, with Dobbs, Hall, and Mullens starting games. The results have been the same regardless of the starter, the Vikings have consistently turned the ball over no matter the QB.

On offense the team was plagued by turnovers throughout the season, from Ingram strip sacking Cousins, to Dobbs repeated fumbling, to Mullens’s 6 picks in two games, to Hall looking like he didn’t know how to play football and not only demonstrating the inability to move the offense but also turning the ball over against GB, turnovers have been the one consistent.

Defensively the Vikings were improved under Brian Flores, until they started playing 4th string players at CB and pass rusher. Let’s fire him according to certain “smart” fans though because the defense got worse the more players were injured due to “logic”.

The season mercifully ended today with a loss to Detroit that drops the Vikings record to 7-10. The only thing that matters now is draft position. With great luck the Vikings could end up as high as 8th in the draft. Enough about the meh 2023 Vikings season though, there is more important things to post.

2023 summary:

Below is a summary of the 2023 comments. They are what I consider the best of the best. I apologize if I missed something or didn’t include something you think I should have. Going through these comments made me miss certain commenters even more than I’d thought, some left of there one accord, some left because they couldn’t adjust to social norms, but either way I miss them. Anyway, here you go…

GF is gonna shovel his ass instead of snow, gets erections when the temp hits zero

Skolifer is worried about the length of lifer’s most recent menstrual cycle

Five is concerned about Lifer having possible brain damage from the balloon inflating

Size matters to Eggslushers fiancee, she doesn’t want anything big

crackhead cock sounds good to Kodiak

Skolifer likes the scent of Kirk’s jockstrap

Five apologizes for his command of the English language, also wants the military infantry to resign and let China blood devils shoot pigs

BSF takes pictures of guy shitting in public

BSF ate paint chip soup as a kid, that explains a few things, but not why he was called cocaine bear steroid goat in college

Lifer thinks the Bills should have released Hamlin because of his “soft lungs”

Mjonlnir walks around sand falling from vaginas

 Five hopes advances in the technology of adult undergarments will help Kirk play better

Lifer is more optimistic, thinks Kirk is the greatest QB in Vikings history, he also drank enough beer to raise the Edmund Fitzgerald

Book reviewer thinks Wrenage’s climax is a sight to behold, is also surprised at his skill

Skolifer explains maintenance techniques of the illiterates at the balloon inflating factory, it ends with the supervisor pouring zimas for everyone

Five thinks GF’s test results revealed stress from having a tiny wiener

VPs wife doesn’t care about or understand football, somehow still knows you don’t throw 2 yards downfield on 4th and 8 with the game on the line

VPs kids identify as idiot and suck at art, Mick think’s he should have beat them more

Five got 4″ last night so it will be difficult for him to drive

Skolifer thinks of Skoloholics members during psychotherapy

Wrenage is gonna kick his wife out of the house and into the snow to fend for herself against wolves when he gets home if she lied about the existence of lasagna

BSFs childhood pastor was a cokehead who liked orgies, for BSF he was the cock that got away though

Lifer reflects on how truly lost and fucked the new generations are because the illiterates at the air compressor plant never heard of David Crosby

NoDak shares the following scripture from Leviticus: “If thou art a male and a dick, and if thou therefore stirs anger amongst the tribes of men, go forth in all of your dickiness and thou shalt be called Alpha male” He also thinks more education occurs at Skoloholics than at most universities.

Lifer is through with damp ass

Wrenage beat a 12 y/o this weekend, also argued with and beat a geriatric man

DE played “the dick out” hole with his brothers

Skoldiers comes by to guarantee Vikings win 2 playoff games this year, lol

JacksonVike’s old boss rips him a new one for spreading conspiracy theory at work

NoDak thinks Trump shitting himself at McDonalds would be historic

BSF’s grandma masturbating to him smoking cigarettes while driving is weirder than Benjammin posting pictures of his grandma in a brothel

GA had to keep his date away from his dog’s turds

SoCal fan suggests GA continue dating her so he can say he honestly fucked an Eagles fan

Skolifer thinks Pete Carrol is the actress in Top Gun 2

GF suggests for the Vikings to win the SB they need a serial killer pedophile cannibal necrophiliac, Mjonlib wonders why Kodiak’s never around when you need him.

Skoldiers admits that benjammin is the mastermind in knowing all things, most important American since jesus according to BSF.

Freezey whined about still being sick and fatigued, his wife doesn’t care

GF suggests Freezey inject ivermectin in his anus and go for a run to cure fatigue

GA Skol is a “strong independent woman”, congrats on the transition I guess

MT is only 10% full of shit, lasts less than 6 seconds with wife

Freezey’s heart is saddened by getting a tattoo of Kirk banging his wife on one arm and a tattoo of him watching on the other.

BSF uses his butthole for spelling

Mick posts an article that is the equivalent of raw dogging a 50 year old hooker according to Bow

BSF’s wife calls her darkness retreats fuckfests for some reason

According to GF Russ Wilson is shitting faster than Tiger Woods

Just like the Vikings, Surly sucks when it matters most

Lifer thinks Benjammin has a voluptuous derrière and is a very successful fornicator

Lifer suggests FreezeFace has a popsicle dick

GF does not like the Devil’s semen

Bowbunch is amazed at technologically deficient people’s ability to find nudes

VP broke the time space continuum

Lifer thanks Obama for whore bag ben blaming Lifer for posting political comments and then runs off to inflate balloons with the illiterates

MT might go suck cock behind the kum and go for $10 a pop to put eggs on the table, current guy charges $5 but don’t ask how MT knows

GF wears coveralls to save his balls

Skolifer has a lot of ass-related problems

rob suggests crying more lib

NVF was privileged to live in a car for 2 years

Wrenages wife got covid from being lustful

Lifer says being a commie is better than sending out ball sack pics of your dog

MT shows up today, has not been keeping track of his blue balls season

Freezey always knew Mick was a nazi

GA Skol is tired from NoDak’s mother

Bowbunch glass half emptied Eggslusher’s ass, not sure exactly what that is but sounds like some sort of prison activity

Northwoods has a good side gig selling “mostly dry” kleenex

Peterplaysskinflute made an appearance, he’s not a Vikings fan anymore though (seriously though, I miss skinflute)

Wrenage eats soy because his balls are so big, also met Walz at Whole Foods

GF wants to slam his dick in a patio door in lieu of watching film awards shows

Bowbunch posts story about guy slapping people with his meat, telling them they can’t have pudding

NoDakRube will never trust Benjammin, dead to him, he occupies the same dead space in NoDak’s heart as Drew Pearson, TL;DR version of this is Benjammin is a prick, as Manly Purple so succinctly put it

Bow seems to have a strange fetish for women farting, posts multiple gifs of it

Bow says to catch cow farts, NoDak is doing his part

Hun and Eggslusher are sick, Northwoods thinks its DEFINITELY herpes, not sure why he is so familiar with those symptoms

Tark is overrated according to Stu, Bowbunch thinks he’s trash cause no rings

Wrenage threatens to murder his editor and their family if they don’t fix his mistakes, no wonder the editor calls him the C word

Fatheads of a hooker might be nice according to skoldiers

In comments that nobody cares to read… Skolifer mentions that Greta is 20 y/o and legally available for Lifer’s sex fantasies

Mick wants the Vikings to have a black QB so we can be racist

GF touched his weiner with Icy Hot then was uncomfortable playing baseball

Wrenage’s wife says he “can’t do any position correctly”

Bow asks MT for medical advice on a drinking glass shoved up an anus

Lifer will not wipe his wife’s ass

Chunk tells women they’re pretty at the grocery store, then follows to the car and asks for a number, next up he whips out his cock and starts masturbating, MT follows and watches

MT gargles with public hot tub water, also gets lectured by uneducated coworkers on infectious disease

Jro asks if you like poll vaulting over mouse shit

Stu went to AL and swung dead cat at Waffle Houses

NoDak learned today that teenagers have the sex

Bow accomplishes in 45 minutes what it takes Freezey two days to do and manages not to get yelled at by store cashiers

Freezeys grandma fed him bread crust to grow chest hair

Asswipe B has a new co-worker with a foot fetish

Just open your gullet and let it slide down, just like the good old days of MT paying his way through college

It is Friday according to Wrenage, GF posts in the words up top that its Wednesday, reality need not apply at skoloholics

Mick wonders if we should judge players by their sacks

GAskol visualizes girls with salad in their ass crack

Asswipe B finds it difficult to hide erections in scrubs

Lifer doesn’t know words, admits to being a stupid lib

JacksonVike suggests going to work in full pride attire and twerking for your boss

Mjonlir thinks JJ should insure his bag

Northwoods tells everyone he knows when he has erections for 4 hours

Lifer thinks SoCalMinFan can make hamburgers out of horseshit

Lifer is not surprised Bow and Freezey struggle with species identification because they compared him to a fish villain

Skolifer says Benjammin is a lazy asshole, DE thought it was cheating whore, Socal asks why not both?

Lifer suggests having sex with QB analyst JT O’sullivan

MT suggests shooting your gun as much as possible so you know the knobology so well you can use your penis in the dark

Mick and Skolly are tired of being Brad’s backup thread posting piss boys according to Lifer

GA might have COVID but thinks he cured it sucking someone named Bud this morning

Lifer would destroy pepperoni dog fart chips

Despite 8k worth of golf equipment and learning “a shit ton” about the game lifer is still can’t break 85, DE suggests contacting Dr. Phil

BSF saves all his bodily fluids

JacksonVike thinks the recent massive increase in testicular injuries in women sports is due to the jab

BSF raw dogged a chick whose adam’s apple was as big as her balls

Kfey says “sigh… *umzips* to the fact that lifer has dry hands

fact that lifer has dry hands

Lifer will support Biden if he pays for Lifer’s new tits, it would entertain MT all day

Brad’s handjob went wonderful

Lifer wants to bang Julie Cousins while Kirk watches in the corner, Hun believes Lifer wants to bang Kirk while Julie watches

MT guarantees you’ll think it is the most beautiful fucking thing in the universe after shit trickles down your leg on a crowded bus

According to Kfey there were no floods before 1940, apparently he never heard of that Noah guy

Mjonlib started joint practice earlier than the Vikings today

Skolifer says you can send feces to Asswipe B at this address: Dr. Gouger, Montana US

BSF wants to know more about NoDaks pink balls

Asswipe B got “buffaloed” by a transgender

NoDak was surprised by the level of hostility in a Lifer response comment, NoDak must be new here

NVF exists in time and space with cats

To prepare cats for inclement weather BSF suggests inserting them into a burlap sack and throw it off a bridge

Wrenage suggests you can get more lead in your pencil by putting it in your beverage, also admits his sex tape name is: characters introduced, aimless mucking around, wacky climax, a moment of reflection, the end.

BSF wonders why heavy set women don’t just store their guns up their keister like normal people

Lifer thinks former gopher and NYG starting center is a somali pirate, also wants to fuck him

VP just calls people mordor because he can’t be bothered to remember them

Lifer will be announcing whose nuts will be hung on the castle door this afternoon because we don’t like fat people, VP is offended

ManlyPurple wonders if Ingram gets his nuts cut off for causing Kirk to fumble

Lifer grades commenters from the GDT, if you weren’t mentioned you’re just a dust fleck in Greta’s warming atmosphere according to VP

Kathy confuses birds for Scandinavian seafarers

Lifer criticizes KAM’s grocery purchases, says he and five aren’t that different, also suggests if you don’t like his opinion you mind your fucking place and back the fuck off

Lifer suggests Jrobert have sex with Kfey, also offers dating site suggestions to Kfey

Mjolnir thinks Lifer is our spaz, Lifer appreciates him understanding

We’re all going to outer space if the Vikings start 0-3 according to NVF

BSF posts video of lady getting fur torn off her, MP thinks she just wants to get naked in public

NoDak wants to see someone hump a soda machine

Kfey wonders if Freezey and Mjolnir make out, says “keep going I’m almost there”

Norseman1 doesn’t have a coupon but might have to hit ass to mouth

Wrenage thinks murder interrogations are comparable to the Kirk debate

If earth were ever in position to be annihilated by a comet unless it is successfully redirected, MT wants Gronk steering the nukes based on his “feels”

BSF is excited by super anal SBA

MT is much more social with strange men in public showers than NoDak

MT runs into guys at public urinals

according to Mick Kirk can’t stop his teammates from sexually harassing each othe

The three stooges are more coordinated and collaborative that the Vikings offense according to Lifer

Hun suggests executing the offense coaches and players

Lifer loves  Benjammin, the cheating whore

NoDak wonders if its a win or loss when beating yourself

Eggslusher likes the D hard

According to Lifer everyone on the Vikings defense is a eunuch except Hunter, Pace and Phillips share a sack though

Stu reports that Kirk eats sacks

According to Mjolnir Ray Charles is the new Vikings director of scouting

Freezey’s stats indicate the interest level in this website goes up 122% when someone calls Ben buttjammin

Mjolnir is eligible for initiation now, Wrenage promises it will only last 7 minutes and you’ll hardly need therapy afterward

Kfey found a Lifer comment reasonable and fair, this isn’t a joke, it actually happened

Northwoods admits to being illiterate, still awaiting confirmation if he used to inflate balloons at the plant with lifer

Northwoods suggests incest marriage to save money during the holidays

Mjolnir’s dad had a tv that shot crap on him

Stu asks if someone named Kurt will defecate in the pocket, no word on if its his pocket or the pocket of someone else

Freezey thinks the Vikings should wrap the couch in plastic and throw him in the corner of a 3 seasons room

Wrenage has a date to talk to a new friend of questionable gender over the phone today

Kfey said you know him, he’s the big dumb giant lib here

Stu thinks NYC would be safer if rats had gun rights, doesn’t believe in the theory of evolution because humans don’t have wings

FloridaSkol might have evolved from a pig

anything is possible under the sun because MT’s doohickey ended up in his wife’s watchamacallit

Stu is logging off forever because Kfey unzipped during an ass eating discussion

Bow posts that Bynum is Def player of the week, somehow that devolves into immigration, borders, and the Cartels offing people for medical professionals

BSF says his wife is a very unwashed $20 whore, also posts the Human anus can stretch enough to fit two nearly two racoons simultaneously without any damage to it, no word on damage to the racoons though

RIP to grandma BSF who died of autoerotic asphyxiation

BSF wonders if Chewbacca’s phallus is like a human or a red rocket

Frezey thinks Mjolnir’s wife finds it sexy when he diagnoses injuries

BSF’s grandma had a sex toy accident with helicopter propeller

According to BSF Jaren Hall says to have intercourse with that Ben guy

Freezey is a fan of Leo Dicaprio getting his bootyhole fingered by his 25 y/o gf

On a serious note, Rest In Peace Scott Backstrom, aka Admiral Big Gun, who passed away November 1st.

SkolfromMT wants to “stiff the band”

Bow rolls away from his wife in bed because he doesn’t like her touching him

Surly’s family unfriends him because he’s an ass

DE’s vision of Lifer is a shirtless man stealing someone’s ball at a golf course

BSF misses who he was before watching a guy take a horse cock up his ass

MT thinks LFA is still waiting for the DJIA to dip below 20K, then he will show up and say I told you so (I seriously miss LFA)

According to MT only a discerning collector would have skin books of pregnant women

SkolfromMT worked at a no sex facility with large condom bowels

Wrenage helped his mom get a car battery, wishes he’d consulted Freezey before the guy connected battery clamps to his nipples to test it

NoDak looks at solid football like he does pornography

SkolfromMT would like to see Chandler touch more balls

According to Skolifer and BSF the gay like version of Courtney Cronin’s name is little dark one

DE wonders if Kirk keeps diapers on his empty SB trophy shelf, also reports Kirk has a grilling show on Food Network

Bow is intrigued by people consuming satanic zygotes

Vikings games are MTs time to enjoy Dylan Mulvany, which leaves him too keyed up to fall asleep by 10pm in God’s Devine Valley

Benjammin is “making it hard” for Jrobert

NoDak thinks Kathy kills stray cats for fun

Hotdogs are a stand in for a penis accoding to Wrenage

BSF tells a story about some lady who banged all the old timers at a bar

BSF posts that he’d rather watch a dog take a dump than debate Kirk Cousins, he then proceeds to argue with himself for about 40 comments, must have seen a lot of dogs taking shits based on that

An average day for BSF is to spit out coffee and shit himself

MT has horrifying memories of his mom wiping his ass

Wrenage posts that he wants a work cat, the conversation devolves into mouse/rat/racoon in the rectum discussion

Bow thinks its sick to make rats crawl into your rectum against their will, apparently its ok if they’re into it

DE posts picture of guy that pissed himself and gives Geico advice for marketing it

Skolifer thought the lyrics to Crystal Gayle’s Don’t it make your Brown Eyes Blue were don’t forget your brown eye bleach

NVF thinks Congress will replace federal holidays reserved for vets/wars with celebrations for sleeplessness

The time Mjolnir shot his sister is both his favorite and least favorite christmas memory

MT’s wife tried to pay $200 to put him into a hyperglycemic coma

wrenage wishes kfey and his husband many happy years

Kfey describes himself as “tanker doomer me big dumb dumb no believe in “Kirko Chains” reee”

Despite calling everyone idiots nearly everyday on here, Freezey says the people here have good insights into players, then calls Benjammin an idiot minutes later

Based on Wren’s youtube history it autoplays “Let Your Fingers Do The Talking, starring Helen Keller and Jenna Jameson.” after he plays “Unchain the Night by Dokken”

Socalminn drank rat flavored soda from Delaware “back in the day”

Asswipe B brags about how much vag he sees

VP makes comment about commas that somehow devolves into eating dogs and movies about dogs that die

Eggslusher would eat dog, not word on if he would prefer it slushed like his eggs

Nodak admits he is a sick son of a bitch

According to MT there’s nothing wrong with eating a little sperm

Wrenage takes in the local culture in MPLS by watching meth inspired interpretive dance

Jrobs balls were the size of limes and he had to walk around hunched grabbing his crotch

According to Asswipe B the medical pain chart is just a formality and You don’t know real pain until you’ve snapped on a sterile glove a little too hard

Eggslusher says Charles Dickens characters push buttocks

NoDak remembers discussions about making dog smoothies and how many racoons can fit in an anus

BSF solicits Jrobert’s opinion on stuffing things up anuses