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Vikings news
Like sands through the hourglass and so are the days of our lives, the QB battle goes on.
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What’s the local story on Iran hacking Plymouth, MN water supply?
Just another Walz screw up?
Don’t know and probably never will now that it has become ‘Political’.
WNBA Coaches Stumped As To What The ‘W’ Stands For
https://babylonbee.com/news/wnba-coaches-stumped-as-to-what-the-w-stands-for
Add to that, the MN Lynx coach said that Male Coaches aren’t qualified to be in the WNBA.
Monty Python Auto Rec.
Well, to be fair, there has never been a female head coach in the NBA, just assistant coaches.
Well, they want trannies (MEN) to play with the women.
So claiming no male coaches allowed is absurd.
But that’s the world we live in.
Not sure about you but I don’t ‘live in that world’.
Nor do I have any interest, I prefer logical where we read about the crazies, shake our heads and say ‘not my monkey, not my circus’.
We used to enjoy WMBA, loved following Caitlyn Clark. All thr “woke drama” has driven us away
No matter what happens with JJ and Midget, it could always be worse.
it was
Ok.
Watch Sanders lead Cleveland to the playoffs…….
Even a ‘broken
clockDouche’ is right occasionally.I never thought this would happen to me…
There are moments in a man’s life that define him. Storming Normandy. Landing on the moon. And then there’s me – getting flirted with by what may have been the most attractive woman ever to acknowledge my existence, and responding with the charisma of an unplugged toaster.
So my buddy and I go out for dinner and a couple beers. Around 10 p.m. we’re both ready to head home. He disappears into the restroom while I stand there waiting like an NPC whose dialogue tree has been exhausted.
Out of nowhere this gorgeous woman barely brushes into me and says, “Sorry, sweetheart.”
Already my brain has blue-screened.
We exchange a few words. Just as I think the interaction is winding down, she looks at me and says, “You have a really nice voice.”
Now, most men would recognize this as what’s known in scientific circles as “a clue.”
Not me.
I panic so hard my internal CPU starts smoking. I blurt out something that I think was supposed to be, “You have beautiful eyes,” but probably came out sounding like, “Your… face… has eyes… nice.”
She smiles.
“Thank you, baby.”
Then—and I cannot stress this enough—she slowly runs her hand down my chest.
At this point the universe had exhausted every subtle communication method known to mankind.
Meanwhile, my brain was still conducting a peer-reviewed study on whether she was simply being polite.
Right then my buddy walks back.
And what smooth, James Bond-level line do I deliver?
“Have a good evening.”
That’s it.
Not, “Can I buy you a drink?”
Not, “What’s your name?”
Not even, “Are you from around here?”
Just the verbal equivalent of closing the elevator doors on myself.
Later I tell my buddy what happened.
He stares at me in complete disbelief before saying, “You’re an idiot. She was obviously into you.”
Looking back… I think he may have had a point.
My game has evolved into standing perfectly still while a beautiful woman pets me like a rescue golden retriever before wishing her a pleasant evening.
Somewhere, my 25-year-old self is filing a missing persons report.
If this woman had looked me dead in the eye and said, “Let’s leave together,” I probably would’ve replied, “Well… you enjoy the rest of your weekend.”
My friend insists I fumbled the easiest touchdown in NFL history.
I prefer to think I conducted an important social experiment proving that a sufficiently attractive woman can temporarily reduce an otherwise functioning adult male to the conversational abilities of a decorative houseplant.
Mission accomplished.
well you’re a married man, so it shouldn’t matter in any way shape or form if she was into you and you certainly shouldn’t be entertaining the thought of buying her a drink
so good work!
You missed something
i don’t have the time to re-read it
Yes you do. You’re just not that busy.
you have to read something else
Just imagine if I had benjammin’s chiseled physique. I’d be slaying them like John Wick in a room filled with bad decisions.
A great skit among many great ones that SNL has had. RIP Chris.
Excellent work MT.
Trying to improve on Ben’s story from yesterday? Well written. LOL
TL;DR
MT and Ben couldn’t get laid in a women’s prison.
‘laid in a women’s prison’
As a Correctional Officer that Toured a Women’s Prison, for several hours while in the Academy, I cannot express how nasty that thought is.
With persuasive words she led him astray;
she seduced him with her smooth talk.
All at once he followed her
like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer[a] stepping into a noose[b]
till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
little knowing it will cost him his life.
Wise words to consider whenever dealing with the ‘Fairer Sex’.
The Word!
Wisdom!
No big drama at Vikings camp so far.
We are going to the superb owl !!!!!!
‘We are going to the superb owl !!!!!!’
#nojinx
Hmmm. Camp has been open 1 week. There are 5 more weeks to go. Is this a case of pushing the panic button?
‘Clickbait’.
Offenses normally start behind the defense early. But they need you to click to get paid so they will publish anything to make that happen.
So true
Kurt Benkert said the initial portion of training camp is extremely vanilla for the offense. He doesn’t understand why teams don’t allow anyone to take video of the practices because coaches wait until roster cut downs to actually run their real offensive sets. They do this because there are 40+ guys per team shuffling around the league.
We haven’t had any football to discuss for months.
There has to be some sort of “drama”.
Being a Vikings fan, I will take this kind of “drama”.
Dude’s still got it…
It may be in slow motion, but when you look at the guys around him, he is getting out hustled by linemen.
Obligatory – most prolific passer in the history of the Vikings. – Football Lover
LOL….
Dude doesn’t even bother trying to touch the ground.
Got to protect that hammy.
I just pulled mine today playing pickleball. Hurts!!!
I used to play a lot of racquetball but I don’t think I could even play pickle ball now.
Mostly my knees, they dislike anything that causes them to stoop/bend/twist.
Straight ahead I am mostly good.
Getting there! Too much time on the mat. I worked at a racquetball club in Des Moines after I graduated college. Racquetball was a lot of fun.
Yep, HS wrestling was the start.
Then Army, running up to and including marathons, jumping off large vehicles/20 mile road marches with 30b packs and such, and then prison walking steel and concrete floors for 8-16 hrs straight.
Stopping is painful also!
Same. 62 now, and used to play a lot of tennis and racquetball. Golf works.
I see all the old people like my age playing Pickleball, and it looks fun, but I know, just know, that I would blow out a knee.
I’m sticking with golf for now.
‘I would blow out a knee’
I have watch pickle ballers and their bending and squatting and such. No thanks.
I am reduced to ‘power walking with a weighted vest’ along with some arm exercises with 5lb weights.
He is just so quick about it, we don’t see it! It’s the stroboscopic effect!
So the training camp video is a cheap fake??
11 more days until a preseason game.
Is there media bias towards the QB battle?
It seems like every article I have read, compliments Murray, and blames the receivers for incompletions. Whereas, with McCarthy, it is always JJs fault. When you watch the videuhs, it appears that Murray is putting the receiver in harms way and the media are talking about how it is a great throw. If a receiver has to make any adjustment for a JJ thrown ball, it is the worst throw ever.
Reminds me of the Case Keenum year where his receivers were bailing him out of inaccurate throws by putting themselves in harm’s way. They loved him and his gunslinger mentality.
It all caught up with him halfway through the first playoff game. Keenum turned into a pumpkin at halftime of the *aints game. Everyone remembers the last play of that game, but Keenum stunk for 6 consecutive quarters after that halftime.
I am not sure if there is a bias, but most media members annointed Murray as the starter as soon as he was signed. Like many of us, hard to be open minded when you put your point of view out there.
Was that a polite was of saying the media are dickless cowards hiding being their first opinion?
Yep, all you hear is “Murray was signed for a reason”. That is correct he was a cheap insurance policy, not a guaranteed starter.
I agree! And i hate being agreeable.
‘the media are dickless cowards hiding being their first opinion’
Yes.
I don’t read mainstream media anymore, so I don’t know.
I read takes on X a lot, and it seems like there is still a sizeable amount of JJ believers, but most folks are trending toward Murray as the guy.
Of course.
It will always be that way.
McFragile won’t be the starter week 1, regardless of the media claiming that JJ is competing.
Happiest of Tuesdays,
Skol
FTP
someone needs to edit that gif. blue shirt becomes a AJ Hawk jersey, vehicle becomes purple.
Put a 55 on the jeep after making it purple and a green and gold 12 on the kid on the ground.
LOL
Looks like my daughters, except their jeep is pink
Happy Tuesday…..
Well it did work out pretty well for HIM last time.
Watson is always looking for a happy ending
First throw he took over 4 seconds…too long. 2nd throw was under 3….much better
All while Midget Man keeps throwing hospital balls. If Murray starts, the QB won’t matter because there won’t be any receivers left to take the field.
I can just imagine if Green Bay was rolling through training camp with their QB options McFragile™ and Das Zwerg, we’d be ROFL and licking our chops for the season.
*Der
the noun is masculine
Dang it! I’ve been doing Spanish on duolingo, I should have picked that up.
Zwerg may identify as non binary or is a beta cuck, in which case Das is appropriate.
LOL – when he’s right, he’s right.
Yep.
Fauci needs to be hung upside down and publicly flogged.
I know he’s not a politician, and he’s definitely guilty of misleading the people, but I’ve seen many hearings where a politician pleads the fifth during the whole hearing also. It’s nothing new, the lawyers advise them to do it.
Has zero to do with pleading the fifth.
Dude is evil.
Totally different situation. The Supreme Court confirmed long ago you can’t plead the fifth when you’ve been pardoned because you can’t be convicted so therefore you can’t incriminate yourself, same as when someone is given immunity so they will testify against somebody else.
He can’t be prosecuted for anything that he testifies to that is covered by the pardon. He can be prosecuted if he lies to the committee and is caught. That is why he took the 5th, to protect himself and his ‘friends/handlers’.
Not answering to the committee is contempt and therefore he can be prosecuted. Pleading the fifth is to protect yourself from admitting to something that would incriminate you, not lying. Lying to the committee would not be a protected 5th amendment claim.
‘Not answering to the committee is contempt and therefore he can be prosecuted’
That is one opinion (one that I happen to agree with), the courts will decide. But ‘Legal does not equal Logical’ and now days ‘Legal does equal Political’.
So a friend and I go out for dinner and a beer this weekend, we are both ready to go home at about 10, he goes to the restroom and I’m standing waiting and this woman barely bumps me but apologizes and says “sorry sweetheart” we have a short convo and it seems to end when she turns back around and compliments my voice, I fumble around with my words but manage to say some nonsense about how pretty her eyes are, she then said “thank you baby” and ran her hand down my chest. Right then my friend got back, I told her “have a good evening”. When I explained this to my friend later he called me a retard and said she was clearly interested. In my defense, she is the most attractive woman that has ever talked to me so i didn’t really believe in the moment she had interest and was intimidated but looking back i was stupid, didn’t make a move at all. I have no game anymore, and this is coming from a guy who once was so cocky he walked up to a random girl and said “I was just admiring your ass from back there and I had to come tell you how sweet it is.”
It’s a funny thing getting back into the swing of living.
if anything, take it as a confidence boost.
navigating dating in this era after a decade long relationship is not easy. You’re not alone.
Were men, we basically have to be hit over the head when it comes to flirting because we either A, really dont pick up on it or B, pick up on it but dont want to confuse friendliness with flirting and be labeled a creep in todays society. I would absolutely take it as a confidence boost. I really didnt notice getting hit on until I started bartending, but thats when women got obvious about it, something about that profession that screams “Free game”. But now that I also take care of my appearance and health and how I dress Iv learned to pick up on the hints. And it helped me get the girl I got now so. All’s well.
Next time take the hint brotha 😉
I’ll try
That should boost your confidence. You’ve still got game.
She may have been a dude…I have to say I wouldn’t find being called “baby” all that awesome as a first conversation. Also, love to reverse the gender roles, can you imagine running your hand down some stranger’s chest.
I think you did just fine. That one has danger written all over it.
That one sounds like there would have been a discussion about rates prior to going any further.
I agree.
Way too obvious and forward.
She was definitely not a dude, the baby thing may be cultural, and I would love to run my hand down her chest
I’ve noticed servers talk like that out of habit. Either that or she ties lures on fishing line professionally.
Bruh.
I thought you were married???
Sorry, I must have missed something.
Yup. You did.
I was, been divorced just under a year now
Sorry to hear.
Glad you are trying to get back normal.
Your friend is right, you retard
Hahahaha
Lol
Dear Penthouse forum….
Thank you for reminding me to be nice to my wife. I can’t imagine if I had to “jump back into the pool” at my age. The only time someone I just met ran her hand down my chest, she expected a tip……not THAT tip, either.
Dating may have changed too much for me.
Did you exchange numbers?
I feel awful for the people of Spokane. It has always been one of my favorite parts of the world. Suck suck suck. I guess it is a bonus we have dick all for trees around here.
I was in Portland a couple months ago. Nice spot. Not sure how similar they may be. Haven’t been to Washington in many years.
The politics in Portland end any favorable thoughts of the scenery, full stop. That place is a hell hole.
I did a lot of eyerolling whenever I dared read a sticker or sign or flag, but there was good food and good beer and nice weather.
Happy to visit some friends, but I wouldn’t want to live there.
The Teachers son, his wife and her family + The Teachers Ex all live there.
Son in Law had to evacuate to his In-Laws yesterday. They are ready to evacuate again.
The Teacher is keeping close tabs and keeping me posted.
Friday night I cleared overgrown branches from a path between my mother’s camper and mine in the campground up north. Sitting around the campfire I thought I felt a wood tick crawl under my shirt, pressed it against my skin and found out it was a small spider when I got my hand under there. Saturday morning I found 2 red welts in that area.
Me Saturday morning – “Dang, I got 2 spider bites”
My son – “Spider bites from what?”
Me – “Uh, spiders?”
Ugh I hate spiders. Now 40 bees can crawl on my hands and I’m calm and cool but a fricking 1 inch spider and I’m yelping and leaping and brushing my hands and getting spine shivers.
Exact opposite for me.
I don’t mind spiders or mice, but snakes and bats are what give me the heebie jeebies!
Snakes are my weak spot
My boys like finding (little) snakes on our camping trips and picking them up (they sure don’t get that from me or my wife). Along with frogs, toads, salamanders etc.
Bats are evil.
I remember being around 10 one summer, I woke up feeling something on my face, it was a wolf spider and I swiped it off but it had bit me above one eye and below the other, I remember it well, when the swelling finally stopped I turned on the TV and Andre Agassi was about to play the 92 Wimbledon finals. Weird combination of memories, Agassi kicked ass, spiders suck and so did Ivanicavic.
Sup dudes ?
Don’t have time to read the thread.
Welcome back Wrenage.
I put in my retirement papers.
All hell is breaking loose with meetings etc…..
I love it.
Enjoy.
I personally liked going to work once my paperwork was submitted since I was Allie-Allie-Oxen-Free at that point.
You’re retiring retiring? Like, not doing part time work doing something related to your interests?
Not 100% to start.
Will do some PT work.
A good friend of mine in medical school who happened to train in the same specialty and subspecialty was in town for a week, stayed at our Love Shack™ with his girlfriend. He is about 18 months younger than I. If I haven’t mentioned, my wife only brings up my retiring at age 62 (less than five years from now) almost every single day. The thought gives me chills. Meanwhile, my friend was saying he wants to retire at 59.
Some can go cold turkey. I really love what I do, it’s hard for me to imagine not doing it part time, at least, but happy wife happy life.
I’ve have felt both sides. Joy and unsure.
But I know I’m mentally done.
Im just going to do it and fly by the seat of my pants.
No risk it no biscuit.
DE to his coworkers
Most of my coworkers are cool.
There is one co worker I want to do that to though.
Congrats. Stop in when you get a few……
Congrats. When’s your final day?
Thanks.
Dec 18 is my plan.
Could be a negotiation to stay for the audit if the money is there, but not likely.
Bail before the audit. That’s really one motivation for me to retire. One of my grants has an intense audit that I dislike a lot. And it is in January, so all the prep is during the holidays. This year I will just be training and not participating in depth.
Yeah.
I think that’s what will happen for me as well.
Audit is at the end of January.
It’s time for them to deal with what I’ve had to deal with.
I’m jealous. You guys sitting here talking about retiring and I’m just taking on more responsibility (officially last night I did find out that what my boss called “a promotion without a title change” came with a pretty nice pay raise though so I’m not complaining).
To me the title means nothing.
Glad you got paid though.
You are young.
You probably have like 20 years of work ahead of you?
Yeah, the title doesn’t mean much outside of some out of company things but the raise is nice to have. And yes, sadly probably have 20 years to go unless I can plan REALLY well. I will be 40 in a couple of weeks.
543 contract days left (3 years) of teaching. I will probably do some substituting and continue to officiate. Baseball, Softball and wrestling.
Nice! As a teacher, do you get a defined pension, and health insurance?
Pension and can “COBRA” my insurance. I think that’s what it’s called.
51th!!
Congrats??
Youse guys get up way too early for me to ever claim 1st, so I’ll take what I can get.
I remember back in the day they set the Thread to post after midnight. I got a few 1st posts in then. Of course I was/am way to cool to ever say ‘1st’.
Happy to start with FTP or something similar.
I am definitely a guy that says First. I just am not cool enough to let it slide when I get the chance.
SB Nation has a poll by Viking Fans that shows 80% predict that we will make the playoffs this season, 44% by Wildcard and 36% by winning the division.
I think we make it, willing to bet a few Peso’s on it to make it interesting.
https://www.dailynorseman.com/minnesota-vikings-news/97871/sb-nation-reacts-results-fans-see-return-postseason-minnesota-vikings
This division feels like a grab-bag. Bears had increible 4th qtr luck last year. Lions either had an off-year or are done with their short 2-year dynasty, and the Packers continue the Jordan Love Experiment.
If the Vikings get competent QB play, they could win 9 or 10.
Bears had a horseshoe up their ass last year, lions had a lot of injuries especially late, packers were ok, Vikings won 9 games with bad QB play.
If the lions stay relatively healthy they probably win the division, packers are probably still a 10 win team, bears will regress to the mean, Vikings are a wild card depending on QB play and health on the oline, defense will be solid though.
I think the Lions are toast. Meathead coach creates flash in pan, never returns to coaching after multiple years with 10+ losses
I agree, Detroit’s success was tied to the DC and OC not Meathead.
Man you guys are full of optimism and hope. You see the NFC North sending three teams to the playoffs? Combination of one or two teams, the LA Rams, SF, and/or Seattle are gonna get bounced out of a wild card spot, eh? Hohoho I’ll have what he’s having.
‘Man you guys are full of optimism and hope’
And you are full of Doom and Gloom.
I prefer where I am.
SEA sucks, Rams QB over the hill, SF wins division with low win total
Rams are one free safety blitz from a broken Stafford out for the year and being sub .500
Yup.
Stafford was awfully tough as a Lion, though. He never bitched and complained like crybaby Brees.
I respect the hell out of Stafford. That being said, I’m okay with him retiring, Rams got the SB haha.
I remember laughing during the game when both he and Russell Wilson dislocated their fingers. Stafford put his back in place, Wilson got his put back in place and sat out the game and the announcers went on and on about how tough Wilson was.
McFragile
Vikings make the playoffs.
Darnold and Seahawks knock them out.
Darnold and Seahawks win SB again.
It is the most Vikings thing.
Now that you’ve said it, this feels unavoidable
#jinx
DN still exists? I can’t imagine how bad it must be now.
Pretty bad. Very few comments
hahaha, hope Gates laments many terrible choices
I checked it out a week or so ago. A commentor blew up because someone used a Trump GIF. The thread got deleted.
Sounds about right. Ridiculous.
What I can’t stand is everything feels like it’s a link to a podcast.
i don’t want to listen to a couple -three slapdicks give their wrong opinion on Vikings football.
id rather get my wrong opinions on Vikings football from the group of slapdicks here. In reader view.
Exactly.
I don’t miss (NL)NVF’s silly takes on Cousins, although he was a decent enough dude.
He was/is a good dude.
I didn’t mind his takes on KC since I don’t have strong feeling either way.
His beating dead horses did get old occasionally but over all his contributions were a overwhelming positive here.
fair take
Ludford occasionally has a good article, the rest not so much.
Plus they post links that I find informative.
Her sucks and will threaten to punch you in the face if you disagree
Well since I never comment he (pronoun assumed) never sees my disagreement, so I am safe.
is Arif still doing football stuff?
I think he is somewhere but I haven’t seen him on the DN for a long time.
lol what a bunch of baby shit soft people. The Trump glazing in here was getting eye rolling too but to freak out and delete the thread because of it is laughable.
‘how bad it must be ‘
No idea, never comment and seldom read the comments.
mwaa haa haa
I feel like the Vikings will be 2 or 3 in the north, missing the playoffs. I think the North and South will send the winner and the West will send 2 WCs and the East will send 1 WC. The South winner will have a record worse than the 3rd spot in the North.
‘Tis Monday again. It feels like this happens once every 7 days. Maybe I’m just imagining that.
I kinda like Mondays. Helps when one likes their job!
You and freezey are alike. Of course his opinion is that Tuesday is the worse day of the week.
that dude’s weird
Oddly enough, it seems to always follow Sunday.
It’s kind of scary how consistent it is.
I need moar training camp videos….
Get on it Seymour
It’s August! Football season is here in my mind.
I see X is still arguing that JJM could start, but I’m not really seeing that barring catastrophic training camp/preseason injuries.
I’m not sure exactly what happens, I don’t think Murray is good enough to just be handed the job, but jj wasn’t particularly good last year, it’s almost like they should have kept Darnold.
Darnold’s not worth the money he commanded after his one great season in Minnesota. He turned into a pumpkin in the playoffs. Needed a differently built team (like SEA) to succeed.
If Murray starts, it’s because JJ is showing troubling signs (reverting mechanics, for example)
I am willing to bet upwards of $5 Murray starts.
If you make that 5 Skoloholic dollars, I might considered joining.
I think it will be Kyler as the starter. Only question in my mind is when do they announce that?
Team will probably need 3 QBs again this season, unless the O line improves a lot
I am somewhat excited to watch Kyler. Not real excited, but he will probably be entertaining to a degree.
From a division standpoint, I am curious if the Bears can build on last year. I think they have the best coach in the division, at least.
Oline needs to stay healthy, only guy that did last year was Fries
Kyler probably starts the year, plays mediocre but just good enough that KOC will ignore the calls to bench him until he gets hurt in about week 10 and then JJ comes in and gets them to a wildcard birth.
I could see the Tarvariz Jackson / Gus Frerotte path.
JJ starts, plays poorly, Murray comes in, plays well, gets hurt, JJ takes back over, gets punked in the post season by the Eagles, Matt Birk leaves the team and wins a SB with Baltimore, then refuses to go to the White House because the president is pro-abortion.
X. My first thought was that you were using that as a algebraic term.
Kyler will start not hot take but he will get hurt cause stuff happens. JJ will truly get the job after that maybe start 10 games this year. Kyler is just working for that $50 mill payday next year if he gets it good for him. Whoever rocks the Purple will have my support
1st Happy Monday, I think.
FTP
Skol
Good morning, SKOL!
FTP!
FTP Auto Rec.